Quick Makeup Looks

Who wants to wear a face full of make up in the hot summer months? Here in Baltimore it will be 85-95 till mid September. So here are some links to my quick makeup looks to keep it light and easy and quick for summertime beauty.

Fun and Flirty 5 Minute Look

This is a great for when you want to look like you put in some effort but are really short on time. The purple pops and people always give me great compliments.

Sun Kissed 5 Minute Look

This is the perfect look for the pool or the beach. Very minimal effort but it will make you look like you've spent more time in the sun then you actually have,

Edgy 5 Minute Look

Summer outdoors concert? Date night at the beach? If it's too hot for a full face of makeup but you want to look cool this is the way to go,

Pop of Color 10 Minute Look

This is a fun easy look (although the wing takes an extra minute or two). Perfect for colorful summer clothes and accessories.

Bronzed 10 Minute Look

Feeling pale? No time to sun bathe? Or simple better at protecting your face from the hot summer sun? This is the perfect look to look like you've spent your summer in the sun when in fact you've been locked away inside.

Illuminated 10 Minute Look

This is one of my favorite quick looks. Who doesn't love to glow?

Classic Beauty 10 Minute Look

This look works year round but it should be in every girl's arsenal. Give it a try, you too can master a wing.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name. And They're Always Glad You Came?

No not really. Two is there to test a mother's resolve. This week at my Bible study, the question "Do you find that you seek the approval of others more than God's?" was asked. Yes was my answer and damn that is difficult when you are toting around a two year old.

I have recently come to the conclusion that Scarlett isn't hyperactive, but I still am. She holds her own against me, most of the time. But sometimes I take it too far, push her too hard, and she collapses on me. Then there are consequences. Big ones that sometimes result in her being tired and cranky for days. But her behavior in public isn't entirely my fault. She is loud, obstinate, and physically aggressive all on her own. She can be a really sweet kid. For an only child she shares really well, but often has to be reminded to do so. She says please and thank you, she apologizes as soon as she has done something wrong and follows it up with a hug, even with strangers. But when she is not being sweet she is really obnoxious. I hear all the time. "Oh she's just two", usually from people not in the room at the time. All two year olds act crazy from time to time. Right, so why is my kid crazier then the other crazy kids? Oh she's not, it just seems that way to me. Ah, I see. No I don't.

Because she is an only child, with a stay at home mom, and not in day care or preschool yet, I work really hard to socialize her. She takes dance classes, cooking class, goes to story time at the bookstore, goes to Sunday school, and has a play date at least once a week. By the second week of any activity we do, the teacher and usually the other parents all know Scarlett's name. Isn't that nice? Everyone knows exactly who she is and I assume who her mother is as well. The worst part isn't how embarrassing it is, and to my credit I never let her just be obnoxious. We have constant time outs and even the occasional spanking (and no I am not going to write a post on my opinions on the subject). She has consequences and punishments at home as well and lots and lots of positive praise. She doesn't mean to be "bad." She isn't seeking attention either. She just wants to do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it. If she is not fully enjoying an activity then she isn't fully engaged and is easily distracted. She is very active and sitting still is hard. Probably not hyperactive, she can sure as heck pay attention longer then I could at her age, but active even for a two year old. The worst part isn't what I am worried other parents think about me, I know I am a good mom and that is good enough for me, but it is what I am worried they think about her that hurts my heart.

Who wants to be around the obnoxious two year old who doesn't sit still and is REALLY loud? My close friends and family who love her, but for acquaintances and strangers I fear that no one will. It is one of the reasons she isn't in day care, because I am afraid they won't like her. Shy kids don't like being around her but most of the normal "crazy" two year olds like playing with her just fine. She actually shares well and has a great imagination so boys and girls alike who can handle her love her. But the adults who would be responsible for her care might find her the most irritating kid in the room and that sucks. Every week at church I sort of clench up and squeeze my eyes and ask how did she behave today? It is hard to know what people really think. Sometimes I think they tell me "oh she is just two" because they don't want to say "she is such a great kid."

Every parent of a two year old has had to deal with temper tantrums in the grocery store. Most of them just don't have the problem EVERY time. By the way, what is the big deal with the grocery store? Is it really that boring? I let her help push the cart, put groceries in the cart, I even let her pick stuff out. But no amount of punishment, bribery, or positive praise will get her through the grocery store. Even the stores that have the cars that kids can drive, it only lasts through half the trip before she is bored. A friend recently told me that sometimes there are activities you just can't do with your kids.  For us grocery shopping is one of them. Unfortunately, I am a single parent during the week and I am not together enough to do all my shopping on the weekend when my husband is home.

The moral of this story is that when you see a mother in the mall, or the grocery store, or the bookstore and her kid is throwing a fit, don't judge, just pray life gets easier for her. No one will ever love your child the way you do. No one will ever think she is as great as you think she is, but every kid has great parts of their personality. For their mother's sake try to find them in every kid you meet. As for me I need to think of Barnes and Noble like it's the bar Cheers, where it is awesome that everyone knows your name.

Beauty and the Beast

Ok this is really about you and not about baby but most moms are too busy being moms to research beauty products so I have decided to share a bit of wisdom and my favorite products.

The number one secret to low cost, high impact make up is to buy professional make up. It is instantly cheaper than what you can buy at Sephora and higher performing than what you can buy at CVS. NYXCOSMETICS.COM ladies that is where it's at! (Sue me I ended a sentence with at) When your kids are little lots of photographs are being taken. If you want to be in them then what you want is HD makeup. Sephora's brand Make Up For Ever HD is based on NYX's HD line. Here are the top products and the cost difference:

Product              Sephora            NYX
Foundation            $42                   $15
Primer                   $34                   $15
Eye Primer            $22                   $7
Loose Powder       $26                   $25

Yeah, you read that right. Ridiculous, right? Make Up For Ever does make the best Finishing Powder on the market it's $32. NYX makes the best Eye Shadow Base (for high impact colors) it's $7. I only use cream blushes and I prefer NYX's Cream Rouge for $7 but Make Up For Ever's Microfinish blush for $26 is also excellent. Stila also makes a nice cream blush, Convertible Color, but it's $25 and doesn't last as long as the NYX. You need a good stippling brush with cream blush. I recommend the very cheap, $7.50, e.l.f brush.

As for eye shadow, unless you have some serious experience do not mess with Make Up For Ever's eye shadow. The pigment is intense and you'll find yourself looking like a clown. NYX has fabulous eye shadow pallets but they aren't the best high def color. The NYX Loose powder is their best high def eye shadow, but again you have to have the right tools and really know what you are doing. The Roll On Eye Shimmer is kind of hard to use, but the colors are subtle. Don't think you won't need a brush though.

Everyone in the world is convinced that Urban Decay has the best eye make up. They are dead wrong. Too Faced has them beat by a mile. A Too Faced Shadow Collections for $36 is the best makeup investment you'll ever make. They have a collection for every style. Want drama? Try the Smokey Eye, want matte, they have got that two. Personally I use the Romantic and Neutral the most often. I also highly prefer their eye primer to any other. It's $14 of Amazon. Always check Sephora and Ulta prices against Amazon.

Color correction. Again the world is wrong thinking that Smashbox has it going on. The only thing Smashbox really does right is brushes. No you want Benefit Cosmetics Erase Paste for those spots you just can't seem to hide.Sephora sells a great trio of Benefit product's including Stay Don't Stray (a good primer and concealer), a cream shadow/liner (great for eyery day quick eyes), and the Erase Paste. As for those irritating dark under eye circles I like Bobbie Brown Corrector or Creamy Concealer, $23-33. Ulta's Incognito Concealer, $7, is a good dry and cheap concealer.

Eye Liner is a personal choice kind of thing. NYX felt liners for $8-10 are excellent. Another misconception is that the MAC Khol liner is the best eye pencil. Try the Elisabeth Arden in Onyx, $16ish, you won't regret it. NYX makes a wonderful collection of Jumbo Eye Pencils but they will start to smudge after 8 hours for most people that is totally worth the $4.50 they cost. Sephora's Jumbo Liners will last you 12 hours for $12.

The mighty powerful mascara. Sit down this will make your head spin. Keep in mind that I like big bold mascara. If you want simple then stick to the original Maybelline. It's still the same for a reason.

*Rimmel London Scandal Eyes Waterproof Mascara, $7!!!!!!!!, This stuff packs the biggest punch for drug store mascara. You want the orange tube. It will smudge after about 6-8 hours but it is worth it. Definition is hard to get though and it does clump some.

*Maybelline Specials, $7-10, Colossal has the most volume (not as much as Rimmel) and will never smudge, you can sleep in the stuff. Stiletto is long but very thin. The Falsies, ehn its ok.

*Dior, $25, Ok everyone knows this is the most volume you can get, hands down, but for $25 I want my mascara not to smudge. This does. A lot if it is hot.

*Givinchy Phenomenon, $30, has slightly less volume than the Dior but it is a precis application and doesn't run very much.

*Tarte Clay, $19, if used with the primer this gives great volume and definition, doesn't run. All in all a great mascara.

*Clinique High Impact, $16, Less definition then the Tarte and less volume then the Dior but it is a good solid mascara.

*Buxom Lash, $19, If you follow the directions you will get great volume and definition but it is clumpy.

*Cover Girl, $8-12, My mother loves their water proof stuff. I find it boring.

Lips, lips, lips. We all want lipstick that last through a few cups of coffee and doesn't end up on our baby's cheeks when we smother them with kisses. I will not testify any of these to be the best because there are so many on the market these days it is impossible to try them all and not go bankrupt. I have tried several and here are my results:

*Sephora Cream Lip Stain, $12, This is just about the best high pigment you can get. I love Always Red. It will last through 1 cup of coffee if you let it dry for 15-20 mins. It is very dry.

*Revlon ColorStay Overtime, $9, it stays relatively moist but the colors don't pop, it will last through two cups of coffee.

*Revlon ColorStay Ultimate Liquid Lip Color, $11, My sister swears that this last 15 hrs for her. You must let it dry for 20 full min and put on multiple coasts. She loves Top Tomato. It last about 6 hours for me. It is dry and and the color is very matte but with the right color it can be very bold.

*Cover Girl Outlast Lip Stain, $9, The colors are interesting, it is not dry at all, and lasts 2 hrs. Biggest problem is that the tube doesn't look anything like the color. If you are interested tell me what shade you are looking for and I will tell you what to buy.

*Maybelline Super Stay 10 Hour Stain Gloss, $9, I love this stuff, not dry at all! Colors are vivid and numerous. It lasts at best 4 hours, but I just reapply because I love it so much. Fresh Fuchsia and Cool Coral are my favorites.

*Maybelline Super Stay Lipcolor, $10, In my book this is the longest lasting lip stain that doesn't completely dry out your lips. Great bold colors, long lasting, though not the 24 hours it claims. Continuous Coral and Constantly Cabernet are the colors of the season. Lasting Lilac is fun.

*L'Oreal Infallible Lip Color, $11.50, It's almost as good as the Maybelline Super Stay Lipcolor.

*MAC Pro Longwear Lip Color, $23, It last the longest has the best pigments but it is twice as expensive, a little harder to come by, and the gloss runs out long before the color so you have to buy two glosses making it even more expensive. It is drier than the Maybelline and the L'Oreal. It's basically the only high end lip stain.

Never use anything on top of a lip stain unless it comes with it. Ever.

The almighty foundation. Ok, you have to use primer. I love the Lancome La Base but you are looking at $42. NYX makes several, including a shine mattefier, an HD, and their version of the Smashbox gel everyone seems to love so much. They are all $12-15. Here are my go to foundations:

*I use the NYX HD for big events where I need my make up to last forever and I use the Make Up For Ever Microfinish.
 
*As a mom I have stopped using Bare Minerals because it ends up all over Scarlett's clothes. Instead if I want a nice powdered foundation I go with the NYX Stay Matte but Not Flat for $9.50. This is my everyday foundation in the winter.

*If you want a Gel foundation, and they do feel great, you want Per-Fekt, its $48 though.

*Last but not least is of course the tinted moisturizer Laura Mercier Flawless. The kit is $65. For $9 you can get L'Oreal's True Match, it is the best cheap foundation. If you have dry to normal skin it will last all day. Oily skin is another matter. This is my everyday in the summer.

Brushes are not to be bought at Sephora they will gouge you. Real Techniques, NYX, and e.l.f. will do the trick.

Last but not least. Nail polish that costs less then $7 will chip. The only nail stickers I like are the L'Oreal, which are impossible to get, and Sephora Nail Bling, $7.

Well there you have it. Most of us wake up at 6 am with crying babies looking like the beast. This should help you turn to Beauty in about 15-20 mins. I can't wait till all our girls go to high school and I get to teach them the ropes.

Post Script: I now have 2 characters on Hell. Yay me, and thank you Baby and Hunter.

Laundry Dos and Don'ts

I have never been a big fan of laundry. Not mine, not my husbands, not anybody's. This seems like a menial topic for my great comeback, but believe me, and any mother will, laundry is the bain of my existence.

Why are the washers and dryers always in the damn basement, unless of course you have an obnoxiously large house like my parents, in which case no one can sleep when the damn thing is running right next to your headboard. Scarlett seems to have an endless supply of laundry. Endless. The best advice I got from the baby class was not to buy fancy baby laundry detergent and not to wash the baby's laundry separately, or you'd be doing copious amounts of laundry. The only problem with that is that I hate doing my laundry and hers has to get done. So I end up doing a teeny tiny bit of laundry 3 days a week, if I am lucky...and I am usually not.

 So a few tips and tricks I have picked up in the last six months:

1. You need lots and lots of sheets. So many sheets. I had three. It seemed like enough, oh and two of those mattress covers. When she was little that was more then enough. She never had blowouts in her crib...dunno why. But after she turned one, all of the sudden she started taking her diaper off. Yippee! One day after the next, after the next. Wash, poop, change, wash, poop, change, wash, poop. Sometimes twice in one day. Buy extra sheets.

2. Then she started peeing through her diaper in the middle of the night. Huggies Night Time Diapers. Buy them, love them, use them. I use them on long trips too.

3. We had to come up with a solution to the taking the diaper off problem. Scarlett can't wear footie pajamas because she is so stupid tall, also she won't sit still for you to put them on. She doesn't like pants in general. She is as girly as they come. So I bought her 3T disney nightgowns, which at one came down to just about her ankles. See? Stupid tall. At 15 months they are just below her knees. She calls them her princess dresses; she twirls in them. It solved the diaper problem, but it created a new problem: more laundry, yay! At first I bought her two, then four, then six, then seven. That seems to be enough to only do her laundry twice a week.

4. Watermelon is the devil's fruit. Who'da thought? But it is. Nothing, and I mean nothing gets watermelon stains out. Strip them naked before you give it to them or say goodbye to whatever they are wearing.

5. I am not particularly granola, I like my greens with a good helping of pesticides, but I decided to buy the so safe you can drink it all purpose and bathroom cleaners from BabyGanics. Because I am extra freaky I needed to round it out with the stain remover as well. That stuff is freaking fantastic. I have no idea whats in it, and yes I tried drinking it. I didn't die. It tasted like soap, but anyway, it gets out everything! Except for watermelon. You need to follow directions for the stuff to work at its full potential. Hell it even got the dog's diarrhea out of the carpet. Another cleaning problem baby created. She feeds the dog strange things all day...arg. You can get 3 for $20 on Amazon. Between the BabyGanics stain remover and oxiclean there is very little that can't be cleaned if treated with in an hour or so of staining, but longer than that and you're going to be throwing out a lot of clothes.

6. Gymboree tutu's pick up every piece of lint in the washer and dryer. Unfortunately, Scarlett has a dozen of those damn things and she loves them.

7. Make sure you buy a stroller and car seat that have washable covers. I won't go into details but some truly disgusting blow-outs have happened in both.

8. Last tip. Scarlett got a piggy bank for her birthday. I told her she could put all the money we found in the washing machine into her piggy bank. When I set precedents like that I stay hard and fast to them. If I don't then we'd have a new rule every other day. So when I found a $10 bill in the dryer...long story short, if you tell your kid they can have all the money in the laundry and you'll check your pockets more carefully.

God Bless mother's who cloth diaper. That's a whole different can of laundry worms.

Things Not to do with a Baby

You have had a baby. Your life is now over. You keep trying to make it work but it just won't. So here are three things not to do with a baby.

1. Do not take babies to restaurants. Yeah I know this is virtually impossible. If you must I suggest restaurants in malls or in cities where there are places for you to walk around and not be bored by seeing nothing but cars in a parking lot because 9 times out of 10 you will have to take the baby out. Also call ahead and find out if they have changing tables in the restrooms. Preferably in the men's room so Dad can change her. Imagine this scenario:

You are having a nice lunch with your father at a Sushi restaurant. You baby, the hippopotamus, has eaten her fill of rice, soup, salad, carrots, chicken, and anything else she can get her hands on. Then you notice a brown spot going all the way up her back. Side note, you forgot to bring her a spare change of clothes. It is a small restaurant, it only has one restroom. it is a very nice restroom, the kind with nice folded up towels, marble counter tops and fancy fixtures, and of course no changing table. So you put down the changing pad from the diaper bag on the marble floor and lay the baby on top of it. You try and get her onsie off her with out getting poop all over her, a difficult task under the best of circumstances. Success! The baby's back is poop free! Oh wait but the changing pad is covered in the slimy stuff. Great now what. By the way at this point she is bored with the whole thing and is trying to wiggle away. Quick think on your feet! Turn over the pad so you can at least get her clean. You get the wipes out. You most definitely do not have enough wipes for this level of poopage. Ok so you take some of the nice folded fancy paper towels, wet them and try to clean her off. You finally get the new diaper on and set her aside, oh wait...where do you put her??? The you try and clean up the floor and the changing pad meanwhile saying "baby stop touching the toilet." Also you have been in there for at least 15 mins. People are knocking on the door, eventually it elevates to banging on the door. Finally, baby is clean, pad is clean, bathroom is...clean enough (oh and I hope you have some sort of plastic bag to put her poop soaked clothes). Now you exit the bathroom into the nice sushi restaurant with a baby in a diaper. You return to your seat and say "Dad its time to go." And just when you think you have gotten out, he points out that you now have poop on your butt.

2. Do not take babies to weddings. Oh but your Great Grandmother who can barely travel will be there and she so desperately wants to meet baby.

Tennessee is lovely in May. The weather is nice, the highways are surrounded with wildflowers and blooming trees. In the backseat the baby is screaming, crying, pooping, and throwing things. Side note, road trips are another thing you should not do with a baby but that one seems so obvious that I won't cover it. Who is stupid enough to do that? Picture a nice country club, set on the side of a lush green golf course. People dressed for a spring wedding walk down the path and take their seats. You sit in the back with the baby. It is the only polite thing to do. In case she squirms too much or starts to cry and you have to leave. The music starts, the grandparents start to procession down the aisle and you take baby's favorite stuffed animal to and dance it about keep her occupied. They seat the grandparents. "BABABABABA GUH GUH GUH GUH!" Shhhh, play with your potomus baby. "COOKIE, COOKIE, COOKIE." She isn't going to shut up. Ok fine lets move away some so she can't be heard but we can still see. Don't be stupid mom, I will just be louder so everyone can hear me. Loud enough to screw up the golfer's last putt. Ok fine lets move back to the club house. Cue the puking...It was such a lovely dress and now it smells like regurgitated formula. Finally the ceremony is over, mom gets wine and dad gets baby...no wait she doesn't want dad and I guess we can't let her scream through the reception. Clearly she isn't going to last long so lets get to what we came here for: grandparent time. No she won't let you hold her, no she won't talk to you, no she won't even look at you, it is loud, hot and crowded, and oh yeah...past her bed time. Quality encounter I assure you. Ah it is dinner time, finally. Maybe if we feed the baby she will be more pleasant. Crap buffet line. Ok Baby stay with your aunt and uncle while mom gets you food...hey where is your father? Oh off having a drink with his cousin who lives in Africa...a reasonable excuse I suppose. 3 mins after standing in line you hear "MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA" from two rooms over. Ok dad, take your drink to the food line. Now baby sit here at this nice white linen table and eat off this nice white china, no high chair needed. Ooo cake, cake will make the baby happy. She might even let a grandparent feed her the cake. Don't be stupid mom. Ooo music, maybe she'd like to dance. Don't be stupid mom. After two and a half hours you can't take any more. Dad catch a ride to the hotel cuz this train is leaving the station. No drinking and dancing for you mom. No wedding cake or fancy dinner either. Hotel vending machine diet coke, m&ms, and sponge bob. But hey, she got to see her great grandparents!

3. Do not attempt to play Diablo 3.

It is May 15th, 2012. We have been waiting for this day for 10 years. 10 long years. Damn you Blizzard. Damn you.

Step 1 - put baby in car
Step 2 - drive to mall
Step 3 - wait in line at Game Stop with baby in the stroller, attempting to escape
Step 4 - purchase two copies, one for mom, and one for dad, so we can play together (so naive)
Step 5 - drive home
Step 6 - install
Step 7 - put baby to bed and get ready to play....

Day 1 - Game won't run, need new video card.
Day 2 - New  video card installed, battle.net down.
Day 3 - Game running, battle.net up, baby teething.
Day 4 - Game running, battle.net up, baby sleeping, dad working.
Day 5 - Battle.net down.
Day 6 - Finally, we play. 30 min into the game we hear "Uh oh." Dad goes in to to check on her. Baby took off her diaper and peed in the bed. Sigh, I give up.

Note to readers: I didn't actually give up but it is June 27th and I haven't even come close to beating it on Nightmare :-(

The Fine Line

Yesterday I found myself eating a half eaten soggy Teddy Gram cracker becuase I didn't want to stand up and throw it away. Wow. I am officially a gross mom. A friend recently posted on her facebook page "You know you are a mom when you take a sip from your daughter's sippy cup to swallow your Tylenol." We all find ourselves doing things we would have screeched at when we were young and childless. But we all seem to draw that line, for ourselves and our children, at a different place. Yours may start and end with Purell, mine begins at wiping my hands off with a diaper wipe and seems to end with her crawling around on the Arundle Mills Mall Food Court Floor (I can feel half of you shutter). I brought her into River Hill High School for the Childhood Development class to observe her and they asked me why I was so relaxed considering most first time mothers are so much more cautious (I think she had just fallen on her head). I don't know...maybe I am just lazy.

Last week we had a play date with a beautiful sweet little 2 year old (who is not afraid of Scarlett) and they were playing in the mulch. But that is where her wonderful and loving mother (who I can not say enough nice things about) drew her line. Come snack time said friend refused to allow her child to hold her pretzel with her dirty hands. After much crying and a trip inside to wash her hands, Scarlett's friend ate her snack cleanly. I handed Scarlett her pretzel right into her dirty hand. I often say to people "she isn't in daycare so she has to get her immunities somewhere." Frankly, it isn't about laziness, I just don't care. Ok I don't not care about my kid, but I guess I don't think it will hurt her. Scarlett will just have to get used to her friends having better mothers then she does.

Funny thing is, I spent that whole afternoon adjusting her hair bow. I have been thinking about this for a long time and I have come to this conclusion: I'm nuts. I know what you're thinking...that isn't new news. But hear me out. I legitimately don't think eating mulch (in small quantities) will hurt her. Disclosure: I am neither recommending you let your child do that, nor am I criticizing parents that don't, in anyway. So I let her do dirty things on a regular basis and my line keeps getting lower and lower and lower. However, I care greatly that she looks adorable while she is being dirty. Why? Because I don't think the dirt is hurting her so I let her do it. But I do seem to care on at least some level what other people think. Since I am not willing to fight with her about pretzels and dirt I mask it with a pretty bow or a fluffy skirt, or both.

Boys have better toys, girls have better clothes. What mother doesn't like dressing up their little girl but I don't think any one would argue that I take it to the next level. A Toddlers and Tiaras reference has been made on more then one occasion. She never leaves this house without a coordinated cute outfit, with a matching bow and shoes. Every single time. My resolve is actually quite remarkable. And bless her little soul she has gotten into the groove of this. I give her choices and she likes picking out outfits and shoes and without fail she picks the fluffiest outfit possible. She loves to go shopping. I give her choices, I approve of, and she chooses. Side note, she is a bit of a clepto. I have to check her hands before we leave a store. She grabs things off racks or shelves. Sometimes she becomes obsessed with something truly ugly and we fight over it a bit, but in the end I have to sign the receipt so deal baby, deal.

I am going to take this one step further and divulge that I think there is a more deep seeded issue at hand. I have mentioned before that one of the things I have struggled with the most is the lack of accomplishment I feel at the end of the day. How do I evaluate my daily work? Especially coming from such a results oriented career, not having test results is rather aggravating. Yay, I didn't kill the baby today! Yay, the baby didn't kill herself today! Yay, I did the dishes and cleaned the house and did the laundry and the baby is still alive...yeah right. But some people say "she is thriving, you must be doing a good job." I refuse to take credit for Scarlett rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, and talking. All I did was put her on her belly, propped her up a few times, put toys out of her reach, put better toys out of her reach, and spoke some words loudly and clearly. It's not that hard.

Ok keeping the baby alive is hard, but that other stuff she mostly did on her own. But when I take Scarlett out all dressed up I get all sorts of ooos and ahhs. As Cadence always points out to everyone at church "isn't Scarwet the most bewtiful baby in the whole word?" That's right I'll totally take a pat on the back from a 4 year old. By the way, Scarlett is not the most beautiful baby in the whole world. I love my child dearly, but she ain't no Gerber Baby. When she isn't all dressed up she is a long, skinny baby, rather monkey looking.

We had her pictures taken today and becuase it is mother's day weekend, the whole world brought their babies in to have pictures take. Scarlett was by no means the cutest baby there. She doesn't have the rosie cheeks, or the chubby legs, or the cute little bottom teeth. But everyone was mesmerized by her somewhat ridiculous outfit to the point that the cries of "Mommy that baby pulled my hair! Mommy that baby bit me! Mommy she trampled over me! Mommy that baby stole my juice!" were laughed away. Frankly she has to be adorable becuase it distracts people from realizing she is actually a chimp who is patrolling her territory in the jungle. FYI if you go to Picture People around a holiday bring a lot of toys and food. We waited 45 mins, during which she ate half of a Wetzel's Pretzel, two packets of Mum Mums, and two pouches.

That notion begs a serious question: how do we prepare our daughters for the real world? Where is the line between encouraging them to eat well and exercise and giving them body image issues? How do you not pass your own neuroses onto your children? I'm soooo not ready to answer that question but it is rapidly creeping up on me. I have a friend whose 4 year old daughter is refusing to wear the same outfit twice in a month and wants to wear make up like her Barbie. Believe me she didn't get this from home. Her parents are well adjusted people who read her appropriate books and let her watch a modest amount of appropriate tv and have never bought her a doll with fake lashes and blue shadow. Now she is now mad at her parents for taking away that Barbie that her friend gave her for her birthday.

No matter how much you want to shelter your child from these kinds of issues, you can't. You can only postpone it and sometimes that does a great deal of damage becuase you haven't prepared them for the inevitable. Is it a fine line between caring about your child's well being and becoming a pageant mom? I imagine it is much finer then we"normal" mothers think. I am sure it starts with a bow in her hair and somewhere along the line it becomes a tiara. Fortunately for me (and Scarlett), Pat would never let her compete in a pageant where she has to shake anything inappropriate.

I will leave you with my ick factor bottom line: her bottom on the floor of the food court at Arundle Mills Mall. We were there with several people and she had finished eating, got out of her high chair repeatedly, and I just couldn't keep her happy so I let her down to walk around. She takes about 5 or 6 steps at a time then she falls and decides to crawl the rest of the way. She started chasing this little boy and she is much faster crawling so off she went. Oh but that isn't even the best part. They are still building the Casino over there and at lunch time all the construction workers came in to take a break. They weren't exactly clean. I mean they weren't caked in dirt but they were dusty and sweaty and of course she was obsessed with them. She just kept going up to them and waving and saying hi and of course grabbing their shoes and their hard hats and screamed when I took her away. We car pooled so we couldn't leave till everyone was done. Given the choice between a screaming, angry baby, and a very happy but really gross and dirty baby...I let her play with the construction workers, on the floor of the Arundle Mills Mall food court floor, in a tutu. This is the part where you say ewww. Fortunately for me, Pat never reads my blog.

This post is dedicated to Erin Smart, Katie Florida, Jenni Humphrey, Aaron Danzig, and all the mother's out there who keep Purell handy and the mothers whose motto is: God made dirt, dirt don't hurt.

Product Review 2.0

Ok so here is a summary of what did and did not work for me.

Bottles and Accessories: The Dr. Brown's were really great till about 3 months when the gas was a major problem. However after that all the little pieces were a pain so I got rid of them and went with the Nuk bottles. They worked, they weren't that expensive but she has also used the First Essentials $1 bottles in a pinch with no problems. I am not sure they come with travel caps so I would check into that but expensive bottles aren't really necessary if you have a kid who likes to eat. If you don't breast feed your baby and you never give your baby a heated bottle she will never know the difference. I wouldn't bother with a bottle warmer. If you want one though get one with a water reserve. Avant and Dr. Brown's both make them. I liked the Playtex Drop-Ins for travel but generally speaking they irritate me so now that she doesn't eat as much I get the pre-made disposable ones when we travel. Use Target formula they have many options and it doesn't foam the way Wal-Mart and Costco's does. Get a formula pitcher.

Infant Accessories: Bumbo, Boppy, and Bouncy Seats (not to be confused with Jumperoos) are a necessity. Find a tot swap or a Once Upon a Child and buy them used.
This is the bouncy seat she liked best and was the only thing she would sleep in until she moved to her crib, forget the bassinet! The swing was only useful for like 3 months so if you can borrow one or buy one used go for it. Otherwise forget it.

High Chair: If I had to do it over again I would use the Bumbo with a tray until she was big enough for a booster seat like this one she has at my mom's. If you have chubby baby she might grow out of the Bumbo before she can really sit up. If you really want to get one go with the Graco, you don't ever really have to remove the tray all the way and you don't need to strap the baby into that one.

Baby Gates: I am doing this one now becuase Scarlett is half way up the stairs and crying becuase she can't get down. I believe in tough love even at 9 months. I never put the gates up. She doesn't go anywhere near the downstairs but she can go up. We have soft carpet and she has never fallen more then a few steps, she is figuring out how to get back down. We have the Safety 1st ones that we put up when I have other kids over. I like them.

Car Seat and Stroller: Ok the Chicco is super easy to use and safe but it is so HEAVY. If I had it to do over again I would still go with the Chicco Car seat but I would get a used Snap and Go stroller base, it won't fit perfectly but it is good enough. Then I would buy this Chicco when she is big enough. I bought this last month becuase the Cortina was so heavy. My mother has one too. Target has a cheaper Umbrella stroller that is pretty good but it won't last you the baby's life. I like the Liteway becuase it lies all the way down into a bed. She will sleep in it anywhere. The Baby Trend and new Graco are good options for travel systems if you are a jogger. Scarlett grew out of her infant car seat 4 months too early we switched to the Safety First Alpha Omega Elite. She loves it but you will need a towel rolled up under it while it is rear facing. You must get the Sassy brand Car Seat toys, the Infantino ones don't fit.

Carriers: I hated the Moby Wrap, waaaay too hot in the summer. Slings are great when they are little but long run Bjorn is the way to go.

Pack and Play: It doesn't matter...my whole thing about a fold over changing table isn't really relevant becuase you can keep it up for like 3 months and after that it you aren't changing as many diapers and they aren't as messy.

Toys: Scarlett has both a Jumperoo and an Exersaucer she likes them both. She loved the Rainforest play mat. These were must have crib toys the sea horse and the rainforest soother. She has two of these airplane scooters both bought used...she adores them. It serves as a walker too. Her Favorite toy is the Fisher Price Zoo. It is soooo irritating but she loves it. She also loves the Fisher Price Easel, the Fisher Price Stage, and the Fisher Price Dinosaur. (Those are each different links.)

Feeding: I like the Munchkin Spoons best, but I almost always give her baby food pouches. The Snack Catcher and reusable snack bags are great too. The mesh bags were great when she was first learning to eat and filled with frozen fruit make a great teether. The Nuk Learner Cup has served us well but only use the clear nipples.

Bath and Body: I like Pampers diapers and Huggies wipes But LUVs aren't bad either. You have to have the Little Noses booger sucker and their nail clipper is the best too. My verdict on Gas Drops is a big thumbs up. Butt Paste works well but if you don't use a wipe every time she pees you will really reduce diaper rash. Get a slanted infant bath tub and either an inflatable tub or use a rubber made storage bin filled with water after they are too big for the baby tub but too small for the big tub. I also like this sponge for the infant tub. The Munchkin Bath Ball is the best bath toy. Get  thermometer that lights up at the right temp. We have this one. You don't need the knee saver sit on your butt. Target's baby washcloths are the best. But the cheaper ones you can get anywhere are great in the beginning when baby is super icky. I would not buy the hooded towels Scarlett is too big for them at 8 months get real towels. Get the Arm and Hammer baby poop bags for when you travel. No friend without kids wants a poopy diaper in their trash but these bags completely remove the odor. I like the Diaper Genie Elite keep it in the bathroom. pacifier wipes are awesome in the beginning when you are still concerned about germs.

Stuff I never needed or used: 4oz bottles last for two months, waste of money. Crib mobile, they don't fit modern cribs but they still sell them with the bedding sets. The more expensive softer Boppy cover, she didn't care. I got the Gerber onsies extenders but they didn't fit one single onsie I have even though they come in three sizes. Don't buy lots of pacifiers! They will give you one in the hospital and  if she won't use it she probably will never use one. I know several babies who didn't use the Soothie they give you at the hospital but will use the Nuk one. But most babies if they use a pacifier they will only ever like the Soothie. Footie PJs with buttons, so irritating in the middle of the night...get zippers or sacks, love the sacks. Breathable Bumpers are just not necessary. By the time a baby can roll all the way over to the edge of the crib she is old enough not to suffocate herself. Shopping cart/ high chair cover, good lord is it hard to work...and with a squiggling baby forget it just not worth it. They sell protectors for the seats in your car from the car seat and crumbs however the fire department will tell you not to use it becuase it makes the car seat less safe. That is not advertised on the package.

Scarlett says I am done now...tata.

Post Script:  As per a request made of me here are some updates. I would buy everything used except a car seat a crib, and a baby monitor. Go ahead and splurge on a monitor that has video. I didn't want one becuase I was afraid I would check it all the time but my father got a web cam for her room so they could creepily look in on her at night. I find it very handy to log on to it with my phone and check and see if she is still sleeping.