For the first 5 months I really had no emotional attachment to this baby. My life was full of pain and suffering and that is all I associated her with. Well I called her it back then, and then eventually I moved to him. I figured if I got used to the idea of it being a boy (and by I, I mean my mother) then we (she) would be prepared if it was a boy and pleasantly surprised if it was a girl. It wasn't until I found out it was a her and thought I might loose her that I really got attached.
It didn't help when she started kicking me. Early in my fourth month I started to feel her inside me (creepy). At first it is like bubbles and you aren't sure if it is the baby or indigestion. It wasn't long before the bubbles became more painful. It felt like I was being flicked from the inside. Go ahead and flick yourself in the softest part of your belly, now imagine that is happening from the inside...all day long. And she does it ALL day. Not long after that the flicking became full on kicking. Ask a small child to kick you in the stomach and again I encourage you to imagine this is happening from the inside. It really wasn't a pleasant experience. I didn't remember any of my friend's saying this hurt them so I asked the doctor. Since I hadn't gained any weight I didn't have any extra padding so I felt more then usual. Ugh.
This child moves all the time. I mean all the time. I always read about women on the forum who get nervous if they don't feel the baby move for like 12 hours. If Scarlett doesn't move once an hour there is something wrong. One time it was like two hours and I got a little freaked out. Pat says you complain when she kicks you why don't you just enjoy her nap. But I was concerned so I started poking her (what, you didn't do that to your child?). Pat says "you're going to regret that." After 5 mins of poking...BAM, she kicked the crap out of me. I learned that lesson the hard way (and it was really hard, she was clearly irritated). Sometimes she moves herself into a really uncomfortable place, like under my ribs where she will kick them till they are bruised. But I have learned a trick from the pernitologist (that is the fetus doctor). If I gently push her about a bit (push, not poke) I can corral her into a more comfortable position. She has a habit of not being in the position the doctor wants during ultrasounds so he does this. Sometimes this works for him...other times not so much. Once she just kicked the ultrasound wand right off my belly.
It gets super weird when you can start to see this from the outside. I sort of felt like there was an alien about to burst from my belly. Sometimes it is just like a little bump and sometimes it is like a rippling wave. Of course every time I try to show someone or let them feel the baby kicking she stops. Difficult child.
All that being said I realized this morning in the bathtub that it doesn't seem to hurt any more. I think she doesn't have room to kick me any more. At 28 weeks she is the size of a cabbage. I feel her rolling around and she sort of head butts me but the repetitive hard kicking seems to be gone. All of the sudden I actually like it when I can feel her moving about in there. What a notion. Well there was this one time when she did a complete 180 in my belly. OUCH. That was not pleasant. She did not miss one organ on her complete turn around. So somersaults aside we actually have this nice realtionship going on. I find myself even talking to her and rubbing her head ( I know that is super weird). And there she goes...
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