From the moment of conception you are automatically wearing a sign that says "Please give me unsolicited advice." I experienced very little of this during my pregnancy considering that I spent most of it in bed. But I am to understand that often strangers walk up to you and tell you frightening horror stories about labor and say things like "if you think you are tired now, how will you handle a newborn? or "you shouldn't eat that it will make the baby jaundice." I realize there is some irony in me saying this since my whole blog is advice you probably don't want but it isn't unsolicited. You came here with the intent to read...
For me the annoying advice came after she was born, which is a tad more upsetting. When you are pregnant it is just irritating and sometimes upsetting becuase you are very hormonal. When the baby is out then it is just down right upsetting that people are criticizing you parenting. The first time someone implied I didn't know what I was doing was the first time I took her out of the house. We went to Target (lots of women say that is the first place they go). She was two weeks old. She seemed fine and I needed "stuff." One can't say they are going to Target for a particular item becuase you always come back with "stuff" and you can't really pretend you won't. Moving on. Lots of people stopped to ask me about the baby...small babies have that affect on people (so do small dogs but they don't allow that in Target). It is kind of weird. Who are you and stop staring at my baby. Eventually one lady asked how old she was and then told me she was too young to be out. Thanks I will hop in my time machine and tell myself not to take her to Target. I told people she was three weeks old for the rest of the day.
When she started teething people kept telling me she was too young and I must be mistaken. Would you like to stick your finger in my child's mouth and feel the molar descending down? Which by the way is how I found out she was teething. I asked Katie to stick her finger in Scarlett's mouth. What? It was information I needed and I couldn't tell. In retrospect that was ridiculous there are clearly teeth in there on their way out. First time mom, what are you going to do?
Now all the time I am told she is cold. My child, like her father, runs hot. He would wear shorts at the north pole. It runs in the family. My sister in law and I both wear sweats to Thanksgiving dinner while the rest of them wear t-shirts. Any way, Scarlett does not like to be hot. Side note, Scarlett doesn't cry unless there is something wrong. Lots of babies cry for no reason. It is perfectly normal for a baby just to communicate by irritating you. Mine only cries when she either bored, hungry, tired, teething, or hot. She used to cry as soon as she sweat in her diaper but she seems to be ok now to sit in it for a bit. She also doesn't really have gas any more. However, when she is unhappy I inevitably forget one of those things. I will try putting her to bed, or bouncing her about, or rubbing her gums, but somehow I food is always the last thing I try. No striping her down to her diaper is usually the last but is often the culprit. It is like as soon as she cries I forget the things that will make her stop crying. Life is cruel. Back to being cold, or hot as it was.
On Halloween she was dressed as Belle (today's picture is purely for cuteness). As you can see that is what she was dressed in. She was hot, all night. We were outside handing out candy on Main Street. She of course wanted to be held so she could see all the people. And she was sweating. It was after all a lot of tulle. But of course all the parents with their children with coats on top of their costumes and sweats underneath gave me scolding looks. Side note, people kept stopping and saying "oh she is so cute" and then taking her picture. How weird. But I already gave the rights away to her genome so what the heck. At homecoming she had on an adorable tutu outfit and she had on long sleeves and pants but still people kept telling me she was cold. She was not. She was being passed around by all the Eleveners in the stands. The kids asked me why I wasn't pissed off people were telling me what to do with my baby? I said it just kind of comes with the territory. Eventually one of them said to the next person who stuck her nose in, "why don't you just mind your own damn business?" You go Molly!
So I am telling this story a week later at a Raven's party and my friend's husband who is like 45 and has never had children says "Well people do that becuase it is very common for people to take their kids out when it is too cold." So thanks man with no experience with children. Here is the bottom line: every kid is different, and you probably don't know better than their mother, and even if you do keep your mouth shut becuase she isn't going to listen to you anyway. Unless she is beating her child you should probably just stay out of it. I have some really good friends whose kids are a total mess. Literally and figuratively. I hate having them over they could not be more obnoxious and messy. It confuses me becuase she seems to know everything there is about kids and they are great, smart people, but they just don't discipline their kids at all. But there is no point in me saying anything, I would only upset our friendship. I just won't have them over at our house any more.
Everyone is all up in arms right now over the Texas judge who was caught on tape beating his daughter with a belt. People are coming down on both sides of this argument. The leftist of the left who don't think a light spanking is ok, the middle who says spanking is ok but this is not a spanking (which I might as well say is where I am on this), and the people who say it is his daughter and he is punishing her as he sees fit. Beating a child is not ok, but I do think that most of the people on his side are more concerned about being told how to parent then they are about the details of the case. We live in a society where we all think we know best. Maybe we do, but ain't nobody gonna listen, so you might as well just mind your own dang business.
