No not really. Two is there to test a mother's resolve. This week at my Bible study, the question "Do you find that you seek the approval of others more than God's?" was asked. Yes was my answer and damn that is difficult when you are toting around a two year old.
I have recently come to the conclusion that Scarlett isn't hyperactive, but I still am. She holds her own against me, most of the time. But sometimes I take it too far, push her too hard, and she collapses on me. Then there are consequences. Big ones that sometimes result in her being tired and cranky for days. But her behavior in public isn't entirely my fault. She is loud, obstinate, and physically aggressive all on her own. She can be a really sweet kid. For an only child she shares really well, but often has to be reminded to do so. She says please and thank you, she apologizes as soon as she has done something wrong and follows it up with a hug, even with strangers. But when she is not being sweet she is really obnoxious. I hear all the time. "Oh she's just two", usually from people not in the room at the time. All two year olds act crazy from time to time. Right, so why is my kid crazier then the other crazy kids? Oh she's not, it just seems that way to me. Ah, I see. No I don't.
Because she is an only child, with a stay at home mom, and not in day care or preschool yet, I work really hard to socialize her. She takes dance classes, cooking class, goes to story time at the bookstore, goes to Sunday school, and has a play date at least once a week. By the second week of any activity we do, the teacher and usually the other parents all know Scarlett's name. Isn't that nice? Everyone knows exactly who she is and I assume who her mother is as well. The worst part isn't how embarrassing it is, and to my credit I never let her just be obnoxious. We have constant time outs and even the occasional spanking (and no I am not going to write a post on my opinions on the subject). She has consequences and punishments at home as well and lots and lots of positive praise. She doesn't mean to be "bad." She isn't seeking attention either. She just wants to do what she wants to do, when she wants to do it. If she is not fully enjoying an activity then she isn't fully engaged and is easily distracted. She is very active and sitting still is hard. Probably not hyperactive, she can sure as heck pay attention longer then I could at her age, but active even for a two year old. The worst part isn't what I am worried other parents think about me, I know I am a good mom and that is good enough for me, but it is what I am worried they think about her that hurts my heart.
Who wants to be around the obnoxious two year old who doesn't sit still and is REALLY loud? My close friends and family who love her, but for acquaintances and strangers I fear that no one will. It is one of the reasons she isn't in day care, because I am afraid they won't like her. Shy kids don't like being around her but most of the normal "crazy" two year olds like playing with her just fine. She actually shares well and has a great imagination so boys and girls alike who can handle her love her. But the adults who would be responsible for her care might find her the most irritating kid in the room and that sucks. Every week at church I sort of clench up and squeeze my eyes and ask how did she behave today? It is hard to know what people really think. Sometimes I think they tell me "oh she is just two" because they don't want to say "she is such a great kid."
Every parent of a two year old has had to deal with temper tantrums in the grocery store. Most of them just don't have the problem EVERY time. By the way, what is the big deal with the grocery store? Is it really that boring? I let her help push the cart, put groceries in the cart, I even let her pick stuff out. But no amount of punishment, bribery, or positive praise will get her through the grocery store. Even the stores that have the cars that kids can drive, it only lasts through half the trip before she is bored. A friend recently told me that sometimes there are activities you just can't do with your kids. For us grocery shopping is one of them. Unfortunately, I am a single parent during the week and I am not together enough to do all my shopping on the weekend when my husband is home.
The moral of this story is that when you see a mother in the mall, or the grocery store, or the bookstore and her kid is throwing a fit, don't judge, just pray life gets easier for her. No one will ever love your child the way you do. No one will ever think she is as great as you think she is, but every kid has great parts of their personality. For their mother's sake try to find them in every kid you meet. As for me I need to think of Barnes and Noble like it's the bar Cheers, where it is awesome that everyone knows your name.
