A Hairy Situation

Status update: much as predicted, wait and we'll see is the doctor's orders. I saw the midwife on Friday and she said that the contractions caused the baby to move down low and her head is pushing down on my cervix. So I have to go back on bed rest, well modified bed rest, which means I can sit on the couch rather than in bed. I can go out occasionally but I learned over the weekend that if I stand for too long I feel like she is going to fall out and it really hurts. Basically I am to stay off my feet so gravity doesn't do its part in making this baby come early. I have to wear the stupid belly band all the time becuase it will "encourage" her not to go to low. I go back in two weeks and they will re-evaluate.

I think I got a single month of peace. In addition to being "stuck in place" again, I have terrible heart burn and I can't breathe. My diet is restricted again and sleeping is a thing of the past. It is really depressing. I know last week I was all flustered about going back to work but I was really looking forward to getting something of normalcy back. I really want to be a member of society again. I went to a HOA meeting last night and it was the first time I ever enjoyed a meeting. I sit on the board and people fight and there is no pleasing anyone and usually it sucks. Last night I got a real high from it becuase I think it was the first time I have done something productive in like 6 months. But then I came home and felt like crap. I'm starting to realize if I don't do what they tell me I really am going to have this baby 10 weeks early. *Sigh* Pat made me pack my hospital bag "just in case." It is so surreal. This morning I was looking at my ginormous hippo belly in the mirror and I thought "huh, I am pregnant." You'd think I would have accepted that by now.

There is a silver lining here though. I had an ultrasound yesterday. I can report the following: She is in fact head down and very low but she is very active (surprise, surprise) which is apparently a very good sign at this point in the pregnancy. We saw her playing with her hands and yawning. That was very cool. Her organs are all intact and functioning properly. Oh and she has hair. Yes, hair. I can't believe they can tell that on a sonogram but you can, they printed me a picture and sure enough she has hair. Also, according tot he ultrasound tech she is going to be cute. I don't know how she knows that. She does seem to have a cute little nose, but generally speaking newborns are not cute they are kind of creepy looking.

I was very happy to see her yesterday. After all the drama from last week it was reassuring. She actually seemed like a little person and not just an alien. I think I may have teared up a bit when I saw her yawn. Pat is starting to get really excited. He has been pretty nervous but after seeing her yesterday he can't wait to meet her. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it. Hormones are stupid...At this point all I want to do is hold her in my arms, but not for another 10 weeks, so stay put child!

Baby "Stuff"

So when you have enormous amounts of time on your hands you will do just about anything to fill that time up. And when you are restricted to things you can do on the couch or the bed the computer and tv are pretty much your only friends. Since being home I have watched 12 seasons of Stargate and both movies, 4 seasons of BSG, 2 seasons of Being Human (the good one), 2 seasons of House, most of the Pallisers, and every episode of Man V. Food, Diners, Drive-Troughs, and Dives, and all of Gordan Ramsey's shows. I have played through DA1 twice, ME1 and 2, Oblivion, and a little Culdcept. Yeah I'm a bit of a geek, that maybe understatement. Oh I have also read about 4 Isac Asimovs.

Running out of things to do I started looking for things to read on the internet. You can only read the Washington Post so many times a day...So I joined the July 2011 Baby forum on WhattoExpect.com. People post about 4 things: belly pictures, mother-in-law (MIL) drama, baby shower drama, and stress. Even that only bought me an hour a day.

Have you ever seen "About a Boy"? There is a scene where Hugh Grant's character talks about breaking his day down into 1/2 hour units, becuase he has no job and needs to fill his time. Bed Rest is kind of like that. A typical day might have gone like this: 2 units on baby forum, 6 units searching the web, 2 units reading, 4 units on gchat with Emily, Trip, and Ryan, 8 units watching tv, 2 units sitting out in the sun when it is nice, 4 units (at least) peeing, 8 units sleeping (at best). So that gets us about 18 hours and it still leaves me with 6 hours to fill. I learned to crochet, and have made about 3 blankets in a month, but that is really an activity done during tv time.

But I digress.Then I found out that Dad had signed up for consumerreports.com and thus began the research. I swore I wasn't going to be one of those pregnant women who read all the books and read 1,000 reviews of baby "stuff." I mean isn't a stroller a stroller, and a bottle a bottle? There is totally such a thing as having too much information. But I was really bored. Once I started looking at all this stuff then I started probing all my friends about which products they used, trolling the reviews on amazon.com, etc. I became obsessed and could easily fill my last 12 units up.

If you go to Babies R Us (BRU) they have a list of recommended registry items, its like 20 pages long. Talk about commercialism. My mother and aunt have been constantly astounded with all the products they have come out with to "aide" parenting. For example, they were perplexed by activity gyms and tummy time mats. Apparently 28 years ago you but the baby on a blanket and dangled a toy over their head to get them to look up and roll over. Well that does seem reasonable now doesn't it? Anyways this is the summary of all my research. (Now is a good time to stop reading if you could care less about brands of high chairs)

Bottles: The current registry recommendation is that you register for multiple types of bottles in case the baby doesn't "like" the ones you picked. As far as I can tell from everyone I asked, this was never a problem. As long as you don't give the baby a choice it takes what you give it. Clearly BRU is hoping you'll buy several brands, test them out and then not be able to return them. Good job BRU marketers becuase I know plenty of women who have done exactly that. Ultimately I ended up choosing two types for convince sake. I am going with Dr. Brown's on regular basis becuase everyone I know who did not breast feed (which I will not be able to, due to my many complications) used this brand with success. Down side, they have a crap load of little parts. I have also decided I want to have some Playtex Drop-ins around for traveling and Grandma's house. Hopefully I won't totally screw up my child by occasionally giving her a second type of bottle. I'll let you know if she starves. Of course all modern mothers now seem to need a sterilizer and a bottle warmer as well. I do have to admit that the FirstYears warmer/cooler system is pretty handy. It lets you keep two bottles cold and has a steamer to warm them up. Nice to have in the nursery in the middle of night. Side note: one reason chose these brands is becuase they are longer and they seem easier for me to hold then the short fat ones. However I have a friend who has short fat ones so she can clean them with a regular sponge. This is really a personal preference that should be based on you not the baby...God forbid.

Playards: When my sister was little (21 years ago) she had one of those gray pack and plays that functioned as a portable crib. Now they are all fancy and have changing tables and mobiles and some even have vibrators to soothe the baby. They can also double as a bassinet if you don't want to buy one. I have to admit having one of these on the lower two levels is nice. You have a place to put the baby to sleep and change it on every floor. As for brands I would have been happy to go with the Graco. It comes in every color of the rainbow and is very stable, easy to collapse, and mid range in price ($130). That is the brand most of my friends have, however they have older models that have the nice changing table that folds over. They stopped making them that way in the last year. Now the changing table has to be snapped in place on top of the bed. This is totally inconvenient. Every time I want to change the baby I have to get the changing table out and snap it into place?? I assume I have to do this with a baby in my arms too. Then if I want to put baby to rest in the playard then I need to take the darn thing off again. Also I want to point out that it only snaps in on one side so the baby has a tendency to slide over to one side and isn't all the stable if you ask me. Baby Trend makes a pack and play that has a fold over changing table, with a bonus diaper organizer on the side, but Pat wasn't so thrilled with stability of the whole thing. However, since it was $85 we got one for the basement where the baby would never be left alone in it. This really only leaves us with the Chicco ($170). This is the Rolls Royce of playards, it has a huge mobile, a fold over changing table, a padded bed, and a vibrator/music function with a remote. I did not feel that I needed one this fancy but having ruled out the other brands this is the one we want to go with.

High Chair: This was the most frustrating product of all. As far as I can tell, no one makes the perfect high chair. I think I could make a fortune if I took apart several chairs and put pieces of them into one perfect high chair. The Chicco has some nice features, it has the snap in plastic tray that you can put in the dishwasher, it reclines for bottle feedings, and has variable heights. Seems great. Here is why it sucks, the t-bar (which keeps the baby in place) is attached to the tray, so when you take the tray off you have to hold onto the baby to make sure it doesn't fall out, but I don't see how you can easily do this since it takes two hands to get the tray off. Stupid and potentially dangerous. Also people say the fabric gets kind of messy and is hard to clean...not cool. The Graco has two problems. First it is apparently more difficult then necessary to remove the tray and most people pull the baby out the top. Second reviews say the fabric molds easily becuase it has a lot of crevices that food gets stuck in. Once again Pat vetoed the Baby Trend for not being stable enough. I looked into traditional ones that don't have all the bells in whistles but have sleek simple looks. One is from Ikea, its plastic and seems totally functional, but Pat says its not safe enough. The other which I really like is the Eddie Bower wooden one, not as comfortable for the baby, but very sophisticated looking. However the reviews say it is impossible to clean. I ultimately choose the Joovy. I will admit what drew it to me in the first place is that it comes in black leatherette which of course will fit in perfectly in my house. But I stuck with it becuase that leather is supposed to be easy to clean. In addition it has a tray that with one hand you can unlock and swing out, so you don't have to pull it out. There are two major downsides. The tray is a little too far away from the baby so lots of food gets dropped down there, but from every baby I have seen they smush food down there no matter what. Also the tray is supposed to be dishwasher friendly but doesn't fit in most dishwashers.

Baby Monitor: We choose the Avant Digital becuase the digital has the best signal and doesn't pick up neighbors babies or 97.1. It is the best rated by Consumer Reports.

Diaper Pale: I choose the Diaper Genie II Elite (fancy name no?) becuase my girlfriend has one and it doesn't seem to smell much. The refills for the special trash bags are kind of expensive. The Munchkin one uses regular trash bags which is handy but it doesn't seal each diaper off so it is really just a trash can with some odder control.

Play Gym: Ok so I went through this phase where I wanted all the baby's various accessories to be ocean themed so originally I choose the Einstein's Ocean one. However the reviews say the material is slick and the toys have stickers on them that baby can scratch off and eat. Pretty lame. Also the light up part was on the side not top so it doesn't really encourage baby to roll over. So then I switched to the Einstein's Around the World one which still has sea creatures but then I saw my friend's baby in the Fisher Price Rain forest one. I didn't want this one becuase it has a giraffe with a rainbow coming out of its head. Giraffes don't live in the rain forest. However this little girl was all about the lights, the sounds and the butterflies on the top and she seemed very motivated to turn over so we got that one. My only complaint is that it does not have a pillow for tummy time. So you either "need" a pillow or a separate tummy time mat. I choose the matching Jumperoo becuase they all seemed fairly equal and so it might as well match.

Travel System: Ok so here is the like whopping decision that can totally change your life. So many factors to consider: ease of folding, weight, wheel type (all terrain or walk in the park), car seat compatibility, cup holder, etc. Nearly everyone I know has the Graco System. Why? becuase it is pretty affordable ($150), pretty light weight and it comes with the most popular car seat. I hate the Graco Snug and Ride (the car seat). I find it difficult to get the bar up and down and have bumped many of my friend's children's heads on the the bar. Upon further inspection on Consumer Reports it is rated pretty badly. Everything from ease of use to safety. What is frustrating is the whole system is the best rated...this is infuriating. How can they trash the car seat but recommend the whole system??? I really like the Baby Trend system that has a jogging stroller becuase those are usually more expensive but the car seat, which has a feature I love: A triangular handle that allows you to carry the car seat multiple ways, has bad reviews for a lot of reasons. There is a kind of cool option of having a snap and go which is a stroller that is just a frame and you snap in the car seat and it is super light. You can then pick out some other stroller that you really like and not worry about the whole travel system business. Unfortunately the car seat we want doesn't fit in the snap and go. It also doesn't fit in the very well rated CityMini with the car seat adapter. It would have been easier to pick a different car seat, but we choose the Chicco car seat becuase it is unquestionably the best rated and review car seat. It is the safest for various reasons and easiest to use with its skinner but longer handle and ease of snapping into the base and stroller. I don't know why people buy the Britax, which is twice as expensive, is very safe, but no safer then the Chicco, and not rated well for ease of use. Downsides of the Chicco its expensive and the bases are expensive. A handy modern feature of car seats is you don't buckle the car seat in any more, you have a base that is "permanently" fixed in the car and you can just snap the car seat in and out. Another advantage is that you can get multiple bases so you can easily put baby in mom or dad's car. The Graco base is about $35 and the Chicco is about $75...ouch. The maker's of the Chicco were very clever. It only fits in the Chicco stroller. Which is heavy, expensive and has an umbrella that doesn't have full coverage. People also complain that the adult cup holder isn't deep enough and so they spill their coffee a lot. I don't drink coffee; crisis adverted. Good stuff: its the best stroller for tall people becuase it has adjustable height on the handle. Since Pat is 6'4" and I am 5'4" this is a great feature. The seat folds all the way back for napping and it is easy to snap the car seat in and fold up.

Baby Gate: There are no good baby gates. Well there are some good ones if you are pressure mounting. But you should not pressure mount on stairs and that is all we need it for. We chose the Safety First becuase the devil you know is better then the devil you don't. My mother uses these for the Pekingese at her house. They are ugly and a little difficult to open but I refer you to two sentences ago.

Stuff you don't need to register for but BRU would have you believe you need or need way fewer: A bunch of receiving blankets. These used to be a standard for swaddling babies and other stuff, but I don't know what that stuff is. Now a days you should just get a swaddle me. They function as swaddling blankets but have velcro so baby can't get out of them. Pacifiers; apparently lots of babies won't use them at all so only get one at first to be sure. Child proofing stuff. Ok you need this eventually, but not for like 6 months so why register for it in liu of something you need right away. Wipe warmers: they have a reputation of setting on fire and do you really want to get your child used to having warm ones all the time. They aren't portable so just imagine baby screaming extra at you in a restaurant bathroom becuase its tush is colder then usual. This list could go on and on but I am too tired for it.

Stuff you should buy used: Swings; some babies hate them and they are super expensive. I will admit the Graco one that you can put the car seat in that moves horizontally is nice, but it is really expensive and it of course will not fit a Chicco. Bouncer seats. They are really handy for a place to drop baby in while you shower, do laundry, cook dinner. They are light weight and portable. However they are like $40 a pop and your kid only uses them for 6 months at very best. Go to the consignment shop or yard sale and get a few for $5-15 so you can have one on every level. Bumbo seats; babies use them for like 2 months and they are very costly for 2 months.

I def recommend trolling craig's list, mom2mom sales, yard sales, day care center sales, consignment shops and ebay. People just want to get rid of all this crap when they are done with it so you can get so much stuff cheaply. Since we can't have another one I do not feel the need at all to have fancy brand new for most stuff since we won't be reusing it. That being said there are certain things that you should not buy used. CAR SEATS, you don't know if they were in an accident. I'm not big on stuff that need to be structurally sound such as cribs, jumperoos (though a used exersaucer is probably find), I'm sure there is more but I am tired. Be careful with ebay. Always check the price against Amazon and factor in shipping. With Amazon mom you get free shipping on most baby stuff. It amazes me when people list items for a higher price then retail and add $10 for shipping...

Stuff you need but BRU doesn't seem to be aware of: Wash clothes; ok they recommend you get these but not nearly as many as you'll need. Babies are so messy. Formula mixing pitcher; if you are bottle feeding this thing helps you make a lot of bottles at once. Super handy. Itzbeen; this is not necessary but very handy. It is this little timer thingie that lets records when baby ate, slept, pooped, and a misc. Helps you know the babies schedule and you are supposed to track those things in the beginning and have have seen too many people making some strange chart to do this with. There may be a phone app out there for this but I don't know of it. Organic or jersey crib sheets. The sheets that come with the bedding set are always super not soft. A nightlight, tripping at 2 am, not cool.


Stuff you should not register for becuase people will give them to you anyway: bibs, blankets, toys, shampoo and lotions, and clothes.



Ok I am done, this post went waaaaay longer then I intended...again. Hope this was useful to someone.

In the begining was the word, and the word was pain...

Still stuck at home, and running out of things to do, I have decided to make another attempt at blogging. We'll see how long this lasts. There is of course only one thing I can write about and that is the first six months of my adventure into motherhood...

When one gets pregnant, one expects 9 months of uncomfortableness, weight gain, and a few other unexpected difficulties. One does not expect to loose 25lbs, become malnourished, 5 months of bed rest, and bimonthly sonograms for abnormal fetal development. But in some ways having a baby is like having sex: everytime you do it there is a chance you will make a baby. Everytime you get pregnant there is a chance that everything will go wrong. And I don't have the greatest record, not with the baby making thing (she was planned, last min, but planned all the same), but with things not going wrong.

The first trimester seemed like a living nightmare, only to be marred by the second trimester which was an actual living nightmare. I enter the third next week and not to jinx myself but things are actually looking up.

With in a few weeks of getting pregnant the sickness started. Who the hell named it "morning sickness"??? Even people who have normal sickness agree its not isolated to the morning. I, on the other hand, had all day, every day, on the hour violent vomitting. Within weeks my diet became restricted to bread and water, and too much of either of those would put me soundly with my head over the toilet for a half hour or so. I have since learned this condition is called hyperemesis gravidarum (hg) and happens to roughly 2% of women. My first OB did not tell me this, she insisted it was perfectly normal and if I ate crackers and drank ginger-ale it would go away. I want to point out that at 27 weeks I still can not drink carbonated beverages. She was all sorts of stupid and and made mistakes that would eventually cause me a great deal of difficulty, but I am getting ahead of myself. It wasn't till I ended up in the hospital dehydrated and vomiting blood that I learned about hg. They also did a sonogram (@ 7 weeks) and it was clear I was going to be giving birth to a fish.

Upon my exit from the hospital I went back to stupid OB who then decided that she would give me medication for the nausea...would have been nice 3 weeks earlier, but apparently she just didn't believe me or the 6lbs I had lost. Unfortunately the thing about pills is that you have to keep them down, to this day I can't take prenatal vitamins, though a later OB told me to take gummi vitamins for kids which is better than nothing. Not really rocket science but beyond the intellectual capability of the first OB. Do I sound a bit bitter about this women? No let me turn the volume up then.

By the end of my first trimester I had lost 20lbs, used up all my sick leave, had a gastro-intestinal tear from all the vomiting, completely unable to sleep becuase of vomiting around the clock, heart problems, passing out and collapsing from the lack of sleep and nutrition and low blood pressure, in an extraordinary amount of pain and generally very depressed about the whole situation. Eventually I went to see my general practitioner who irritates the crap out of me but who is an excellent doctor and has been seeing me for 10 years. He kind of flipped out and immediately put me on Medical Leave and wanted me hospitalized. I was to be put in bed and watched 24 hours a day. I was very lucky and my mother took time off from her job so I could stay at her house and she babysat me for a month, thinking that the sickness would wind down as my first trimester had ended. Well that didn't happen. I continued to loose another 5lbs and at 17 weeks we decided that a new OB was in order.

Several of my friend had used the Midwives at Esposito, Mayer and Hogan, just wanted to give them a shout out becuase they are awesome, so we made an appointment. Within 5 mins of meeting the midwife we felt thousand times better. Jeannie was so calming and comforting and immiedatly began to give us solutions that might actually work, like the gummi vitamins, and gingersnaps in liu of the blasted ginger-ale. She suggest beans and nuts for protein alternatives. She also instructed us to schedule an ultrasound at the Advanced Fetal Care Center at the University of Maryland, and not some general radiology center since for some reason I hadn't had one at 12 weeks (this is the mistake I mentioned earlier that would turn out to be devastating later on). She also told me that hg usually comes to a conclusion around 20 weeks, not 12 weeks like normal morning sickness. She said I would probably need an IV for fluids and anti-nausea meds but was willing to wait a few more weeks to see if it went away on its own. I oped to wait becuase a permanent IV would have restricted me even further then I was already.

So we scheduled the ultrasound and waited to see if the nausea stopped and sure enough at 20 weeks it slowed down and by 23 it was almost gone completely and I stopped loosing weight. Now onto our awesome friends at the Fetal Care Center. Going down there is a bit of a pain becuase it is in the heart of Baltimore and you have to contend with traffic and parking. I have also waited in the waiting room for upwards of an hour and half. All that being said the doctors are the best at what they do.

So here is how the 18-20 week anatomy ultrasound goes: you are taken back to the room with the fancy machines and in this case a flat screen monitor that allows you to see everything that happens in real time. A very nice sonogram tech begins to look at the baby and all her little baby parts. At first you have no idea what you are looking at and then you get a wide screen shot that shows you there is an actual baby in there and not just a fish. She shows you hands and feet and the heart and brain. Then she asks you if you want to know the sex and says see that, those are little princess parts and draws and arrow on the screen so you can't miss it. Poor baby has no privacy. At this point I was pretty excited. When I thought I would have two or three children I didn't care if this one was a boy or a girl, but when I got so sick that my health was in serious danger and it was looking like I could never have another, I really wanted a little girl. My husband commented that some where there had to be a rash of little boys being born becuase everyone we know had or was having girls...

So the tech finishes up and you're really excited. She looks so perfect and it all becomes very real and seems like all the trouble was worth it. Then she says "let me go check with the doctor, sometimes he'll come in and look for himself and sometimes he'll just let you go. I'll be right back." Pat, my husband, was beaming and says everything is going to be ok and lets text our closest friends that she is a girl and her name is Scarlett Victoria. We did. The I tell him don't get too excited yet the tech can't legally tell us if anything was wrong, but she seemed so perky that I was pretty sure it was fine. Then the doctor comes in...........

Worst day of my life. First off I want to say Dr. Baschat is amazing and we can never be grateful enough for his care and precision. So he starts to point out all the problems and the list was pretty long. I know many people who had slight downs scares, bright spots and calcium deposits, but the risks are still in the thousands. Scarlett had a swollen nuchal fold, it is supposed to be under 6, hers was 10-12. She had a swollen abdomen and parts of her head. She also didn't have enough amniotic fluid. It is supposed to be 10+, hers was under 4. That was a lot of information to put on the internet and I am not quite sure how my family will feel about it but this is therapeutic so I am doing it anyway.

So Dr. Baschat tells us there are a lot of possible problems. First the nuchal fold problem brings the risk for downs to about 1 in 300-400. Still a pretty big number, but since nothing else had gone right, that number was scary. The swelling in the brain and abdomen was indicative of another genetic problem that I can't remember the name of. Then he says it also possible that the baby has some kind of infection that is causing her to retain fluid and that could explain the swelling, the nuchal fold, and the low amniotic fluid. Inutero infections can go away on their own or they can kill the baby, they also can have a laundry list of long term effects that modern science has yet to fully understand.

He asks us to see two things the quad screen (second trimester genetic testing which is really only a statistical probability indicator) and the 12 week ultrasound. As you know we didn't have a 12 week ultrasound. If we had then they could have compared the two to see if any of these problems were consistent and would have given them a much better idea of what was going on. We did have the quad screen, it was the last thing we had done before leaving the stupid OB. We requested when we changed doctors to have our records transferred as well, which they wanted us to pay to have done and we did, 2 weeks prior. So the Fetal Care Center calls the new OB for the results and they say they have yet to get the records. Fantastic, here we are trying to find out if our baby is going to die and the stupid OB hadn't even sent the damn records.

So Dr. Baschat says we can wait till the records can be obtained but all they will really give us is more statistical data on whether or not having an amniocentesis is worth the risk. In case you don't know what an amnio is, its a big needle they sick into the uterus and remove genetic material to test. There is a 1 in 300 chance that the needle will break the amniotic sac and cause a miscarriage. So this is all a game of numbers. Without discussing it with Pat or even waiting for the test results I tell him I want the amnio and I want it now. I don't know why I did that. I just did, in that moment I just wasn't willing to take the risk that something was wrong. I needed to know (btw Pat completely supported my decision).

So they do the amnio and they tell me to hold completely still. Something I am universally known to not be able to do, according to my mother I couldn't even do it inutero. I prayed like I have never prayed before to just hold still, becuase if you jerk about then the doctor could puncture the sac. It was kind of a miracle. The nurse said I was the calmest, stillest, amnio they had ever done. I later told this to one of my pastors who said it truly moved him, becuase he knows how unstill and calm I am. Anyway then they ask me if I want to participate in some research they are doing at the University that could eliminate the the need for amnios all together. All they wanted was a tube of blood and they would test it to see if they could get the same gentic material they could from the amnio and we'd get $25 (which I still haven't seen, but anyway). Of course we would give them blood! Helping other women to not have to go through this dangerous procedure. Who the hell wouldn't? Apparently plenty of people becuase there is a phone number to call if you change your mind.

The doctor also needed my blood type becuase if I was an negitive blood type, which I am, then I would need a rhogam shot (look it up I am not getting into why you need that). They can't just take my word for it so they need some medical records...great here we go again. The stupid OB is still not releasing them. So I have to wait around in the doctors office crying rather than getting to go home and cry. Eventually I realize that my GP has that info so I tell them to call him. BTW rhogam shots really hurt. To top it all off they weighed me for the University study and I had lost another 3lbs....It was truly the worst day of my life, followed by a terrible two weeks.

The first 24 hours after an amnio are the worst. You lie down and wait to see if you have a miscarriage. I did not. Then with in 3 days the "genetic councilor" calls you with the preliminary results of the amnio which tells you 4 things the gender, down syndrome, spinia bifida, and one other big genetic disorder that I can't remember. Those 3 days were agnoy. I had spent the past 5 months depressed and generally unhappy about being pregnant. Then they showed me my little girl and I named her and all I wanted was for her to be ok. I couldn't bring myself to use her name, look at her pictures, or go into her nursery. My sister took off work and came to stay with me while I waited she promised me that as soon as they called and said that it was ok we were going to the mall to buy her some pink clothes. She cleared round one and I have never been so happy in my life. 5 days later they called with the rest of the genetic tests and she cleared that too, 3 more days and they called and said nothing came from the viral culture they did.

We returned to the Fetal Care Center two weeks after the first ultrasound in pretty good spirits considering that all her tests came back clear. Dr. Baschat was in surgery so we had to see this other lady doctor. I do not like her. She isn't very expressive and says hmmm that is interesting a lot and doesn't explain what she is looking at or whats making her say hmmm until the end. So then she calls in Baschat and they tell us that they think she had an infection but she appeared to be recovering. I say "but the viral culture came back negative" and they say yeah well just like in adults there are only so many viruses we can test for and we didn't test for bacterial infection so basically it didn't really tell us anything...Great. So now what. "You need to come back every 2 weeks for the rest of your pregnancy so we can monitor organ development and check that things are going ok." Great (those greats are sarcastic btw).

So where does that leave us? Well first of all I hadn't told anyone but close friend and immediate family. I kept waiting for a point where we felt like things were going to be ok and we just seemed to never get that. The following apt went much better they saw no problems at all so I made the dreaded FB announcement and everyone was excited. But of course the apt after that was less good. Well it wasn't bad, but my child, who seems to be like me and can't hold still, kicked the ultrasound wand off twice so they didn't get to see everything they wanted. I guess I'll never feel really ok about it until she comes out with all organs and limbs intact. Remember how I said in the first sonogram I had no idea what I was looking at. I now can tell exactly what they are looking at, lungs, kidneys, brain, heart, I know it all now.

As of today I have 92 days to go. I am feeling much better. I can eat again and sleep. In fact most of the things that are wrong with me now are down right normal. I pee every 20 mins, my back is killing me, I get kicked day and night and my ribs are sore. No swelling or stretch marks and I am still an innie, so that is good. Also I am now gaining about 1lbs a week. Also good. However, I lost all my muscle mass so I am pretty weak. If I stand up or move around for more then a few hours my uterus swells and my belly actually gets bigger and harder so I have to take it really easy. I may actually get to go back to work soon, which is kind of scary becuase I have been isolated for months and the idea of being around people is sort of daunting, however I want out of my bedroom so badly I can hardly stand it.

As for the stupid OB I found out why they didn't release my records. The head doctor at the practice wanted to know why I had left and was holding onto the records until she spoke to me...boy did I give it to her.

Well that was a long post, but it did cover 6 months. I promise never to rattle on like that again. Also Mom's pool opens in a few days so I won't be stuck inside every day, instead I will get to lie in the pool instead of bed, so I don't plan on having 2 hours to write additional posts. So, so long and farewell for now.