About 36 hours ago I started to feel really terrible. Exacerbated by watching Due Date (that is 2 hours of my life I will never get back). I started throwing up and having other digestive issues. On top of that my back and belly were even more sore then usual. I got no sleep, I just felt wrong. I also have been having a lot of trouble breathing. Part of it, as I mentioned in a previous post, is that my diaphragm is being compressed by uterus. But I also found out on Tuesday that I am anemic from being malnourished for 5 months and that is also contributing to my shortness of breath.
So I got maybe 3 hours of sleep that night and woke up feeling horrible still. I said to my mom I feel like I have the flu. She asked what my symptoms were and I listed the aforementioned and I said my belly is really hard and there is a lot of pressure on my cervix. I realized I was having contractions but I wasn't sure if they were Braxton Hicks, false labor, or the real deal. She says well that could be the flu but it also sounds a lot like premature labor symptoms so I should call the doctor. So I say well I'll wait and hour and see if I feel better, but it occurred to me that the flu wouldn't go away in an hour so I call the doctor. They say come in and don't drive yourself. Of course Pat was in a meeting, mom was at school, and my sister, as usually, was not answering her phone. So I called my friend Mike who instantly came and picked me up (Thanks!!!).
They saw me right away at the doctors, did like a 3 min examination and said go over to the hospital...??? I had sent Mike home thinking I would be at the doctors forever and I would call him or my sister to pick me up later. Fortunately the doctors office is across the street from the hospital and I had brought an umbrella becuase it was raining cats and dogs! I called my mom at school scared out of my mind. And I felt like the bay was going to fall out of me on the walk over. I wondered into the lobby and asked them where labor and delivery was, I felt really stupid. They ask me are you visiting? No, but I might be having a baby. Oh well are we expecting you? Yeah, in two months...
So I have to say props to L&D at HCGH they were quick to see me and very nice. My doctor's office always has a doctor and a midwife in the hospital so they took care of me right away. I was really scared at first and alone but the nurses were very sweet and they told me not to freak out too much and the doctors always send women having contractions over "just in case" rather then doing a complete assessment in the office. That made me feel much better. Wasn't too long before mom showed up. (I need to say thanks to Hunter, my sister's 20 year old bf, who was next door at school working on a like 10 hour engineering practical but said he would come over to be with me if I needed him).
Good news: I did not have a baby. I'm not going to get into all the gory details but basically I had a stomach bug and I became really dehydrated and that caused the contractions. They gave me zofram for the nausea and gave me fluids intravenously and the contracts stopped. Fortunately she is suborn and stayed way up high and refused to come down and be born. Good job Scarlett. Side note, even the L&D nurses were really impressed by her inability to sit still. They had trouble with the contraction monitor and the heartbeat monitor becuase she kept squirming about and moving them.
Bad news: I still feel like crap and I am back on the BRAT diet. I'm so hungry...I was finally able to eat and now its jello and saltines again. Contractions are painful, and I am told they will be worse when I actually go into labor. I feel like I did 1,000 sit-ups last night. I'm also confined to the bed and couch for a few days. As for going back to work next week, who knows. I go back to the doctor on Friday and they will make a decision then, though I fear the decision will be come back in a week and we'll see.
Now the whining. I'm so tired of this. There was a brief moment yesterday when I thought, well at least it might be over. It was brief though. I am glad she is still in there cooking, its just hard. I'm tired of feeling like crap, I am tired of feeling overwhelmed and I am tired of feeling like a failure. I know none of this is my fault, but it feels like I can't get anything right. I can't work, I can't seem to grow a baby properly, and I can't be a good friend, daughter, sister or wife right now either. A friend posted this on my FB today "I promise it's worth it. The first time she smiles at you will make everything else melt away." I am going to end with that, becuase it is more beautiful then anything I can dream up.
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